'Merica Labz

'Merica Labz

The founders of ‘Merica Labz – rumored to be direct descendants of George Washington – sat in a first grade classroom one day, coloring a sheet their teacher provided. As the lesson concluded, the teacher walked up to the founders, cocked her head, and in a reassuring but still unsure voice said, “Boys, why is your crocodile red, white, and blue? Crocodiles are green.” The founders looked up at her, with eyes glaring like a proud bald eagle and said, “Ma’am, them’s the only colors there is.”

The founders of ‘Merica Labz left school that day, never to return. From the age of six, they dedicated their lives to creating the most ‘Merican dietary supplements the world would ever know. After bottling the sweet, decadent smell of a bald eagle’s sweat; distilling the majesty of a sunrise over the Grand Canyon; and extracting the most bioactive compounds in a Fourth of July barbecue, the key ingredients were finally determined. Freedom in a bottle had arrived.

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